I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
