Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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