I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
