but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
