Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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