I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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