eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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