i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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