So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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