I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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