too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
