Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
