Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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