How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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