I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize