He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
