Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
