'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
