Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
