I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
