is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
