Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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