Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
