oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize