There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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