Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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