Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
