K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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