Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
