I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
