i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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