From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
