this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
