Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize