Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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