problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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