just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
