How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
