Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
