We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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