Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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