Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
