dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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