It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize