im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
