Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize
