i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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