I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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