saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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