every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
