i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
