Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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