fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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