I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I just sharted jello shots
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
