The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
