Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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