Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
