First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
