When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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