He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
