Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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